To Tweet or Not To Tweet

As an indie author, I understand that there are certain things that I must do. Networking with other writers who have humor to complement and compliment mine is always fun. Yes, there are other people like me. I will dance the happy dance while you curl up in the fetal position, sucking your thumb and begging for an end to the visions of people like me invading your home, eating all your pistachio ice cream, wearing your socks on their noses, and doing the hip-hop version of “Singing in the Rain” to kazoo accompaniment. Well, I may be the only one who wears the nose socks. Networking is fun.

Another thing I have to do it keep up with my Facebook stuff. I know what you’re thinking: why is he still using Facebook. It is a great way to … ummm… it’s for… aahhh… I just do, okay? Chatting with my friends is a very important part of my day. Just ask my son who is sitting across the room. We chatted on Facebook for two hours. He even went to the kitchen and got me a drink. I’m trying to remember if we have actually heard each other’s voices today.
The thing that is making me lose sleep is Twitter. I have expanded my influence and following to include people from places like India, the UK, Russia, Senegal and some places I’m pretty sure I read about in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I think I tweeted with a Vogon yesterday. I’m pretty sure she was a Vogon because she liked my poetry which is some of the worse in the galaxy.
The problem is I try to say thank you to everyone that follows me. I was raised in Texas and we have manners down there. Even though I now live in Tennessee, those manners that mom drilled into my psyche are still part of me. Dad just threated to use a drill on me if I was rude, which I found loaded with irony. When I only had a few new followers a day, it was easy. I just said “thanks for the follow” and then made some kind of comment about their page. Now it is getting harder and harder to be a good Twitter citizen. I started losing sleep, wondering who I had forgotten to thank and would they be offended when they saw I thanked someone else and ignored them. Then I came up with a spreadsheet where I could keep track of everyone I thanked and then I could go back and catch the others I had forgotten. It was intricate.
All of that was on my mind, taking up my time, making me more neurotic than usual. I worked until noon yesterday, then I remember that I had forgotten something. I hadn’t written anything of substance (yes, I do count this as substance) that morning. It was at that point that I understood what I had heard on a podcast about limiting yourself on social media or it will take over your life. So what if my friends have more followers than me. It is not a competition. Really, it isn’t. Nope. Not at all. It doesn’t matter if they hit 2000 followers before I do. It has nothing to do with them being better than me.

My hands are shaking. My foot is tapping. I’m sweating. Arrggg! I’m losing the race. Gotta get back on Twitter!!!

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