“I woke up this morning thinking the world was totally insane and that nothing made sense. Then I realized it was just me that was crazy and made no sense. I’m fine with that.” That was my post on Facebook this morning. The first one to like that status was my mom. Not too sure that is a good thing. Nevertheless, it generated a lot of comments. Most of them were agreeing that I’m a little off my gourd. One of my favorites was “Crazy is not bad… especially when it’s creative crazy!” That may be one of the best ways to describe me.
When I sit down and look at the world, my first thought is: “That is really messed up!” Well, it is something like that, but I try to keep this blog PG. But if you look hard at the insanity of the world, you have two choices: 1) Run screaming into the hills and barricade yourself in a secluded cabin while stockpiling guns, ammo, canned goods, Ted Nugent CDs, and lots of instant pudding. 2) Laugh and live in your own world. I choose the second option. I call it Dougland. But then again, I do like pudding…
I am going to point out a few things in this world that will make you choose one of the two options. Let me know which one you choose. By the way, Dougland is accepting visa applications.
- Rep. James P. Moran complained that members of Congress are not paid enough to live in Washington, DC. It turns out that they haven’t given themselves a pay raise in five years and are expected to survive on a measly little $174,000 a year. That’s practically minimum wage! I think we should pay them based on performance.
- In China, a jar of French Mountain air sold for $860. It seems that the air quality in Beijing is so bad that people really have to catch their breath in strange ways. My son and I have a plan to get a couple hundred Mason jars and go up into the Smokies. We will come down with enough air to pay for his college with Smoky Mountain Air! Yes, we do see the irony.
- A woman in a nursing home – in a nursing home!!! – is suing the home for subjecting her to the “unwanted” spectacle a male stripper. This lawsuit comes AFTER her son came to visit and saw the picture of her putting a dollar in his G-string. I always thought it was the son who lied to his mom about seeing strippers. You learn something new every day. Mom, take your heart meds and enjoy. I don’t mind.
- A 26-foot tall statue of Marilyn Monroe will go on display at the Grounds for Sculpture on May 4th. This 17-ton stainless steel and aluminum shows the most famous shot of the blond bombshell from The Seven Year Itch with her dress billowing. Now, I think
she was a beautiful woman, too; but do you think she would be flattered that she weighs 17-tons? I also wonder, what are the measurements of a 26-foot tall Marilyn?
These are just things that make me think that my level of insanity is kind of tame compared to reality. I like it here in Dougland. It makes more sense to me. Who’s joining me?
I will apply for a visa. A friend told me to stockpile but listed Vienna sausages I will take the pudding or not lol