I Don’t Know

Don’t you hate those three words? “I don’t know” really bugs me. Not knowing really messes with my sense of intellectual superiority I think I have. There are all kinds of things about which I know next to nothing. Stellar physics, subatomic particle characteristics, medieval French literature, knitting, fine china and the mysterious ways of the female mind. Well, to be honest “next to nothing” is not a fair assessment of my knowledge of the female psyche. Absolutely nothing is a better description. And I know the females of the world like it that way!

Those things don’t disturb my mediocre mind as much as some of the other things I don’t know.

  • I don’t know why it only snows on days that I really need to get out of the house. (Here is East Tennessee that means going to the store to buy all the milk and bread in case 
  • I don’t know why there is no season for hunting dust bunnies. (I got five of them with one shot with a double-barrel Swiffer!)
  • I don’t know why my dog sheds year-round. (She has short hair that still sheds all the time!)
  • I don’t know why I feel guilty walking past a Salvation Army kettle even though I have put money in the last 38,274 times I have walked past one. (And I just put more money in there because I can’t handle the guilt.)
  • I don’t know why there are dents in my walls.
  • I don’t know why I get headaches.
  • I don’t know why I bang my head against walls. (Forget about the headache and dent issues. I understand now.)
  • I don’t know why laundry can multiply faster than rabbits on Viagra.
  • I don’t know where all that lint in the dryer filter comes from.
  • I don’t know why I always seem to lose one sock. (Wait, that explains the dryer lint!)
  • I don’t know why the word poly means many.
  • I don’t know why we chose the word ticks for small blood sucking insects.
  • I don’t know what is wrong with politics. (Although “poly” and “ticks” makes more sense now.)
  • I don’t know why so many people don’t get my sense of humor. (What is wrong with everyone else?)
  • I don’t know why some of the most obvious answers elude me so often.

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