Long Time, No Write

Yes, I know. It has been far too long since my last post. I have a long list of excuses. The unrest in the Middle East has been weighing heavily on my mind. The main issue is the Israelites and the Edomites, right? (Okay, I wasn’t paying attention to the news. Those are names I heard in third grade Sunday school.) There were volcanic eruptions in Hawaii and Guatemala which would be great excuses except I live in Tennessee. We did have an earthquake that measured a ONE on the Richter Scale which I only knew happened because my son told me about it. The remnants of Hurricane Florence did make it over the Smoky Mountains and inundated those of us in Eastern Tennessee with nearly a quarter of an inch of rain. That’s a little over six millimeters for those of you who use the much more logical metric system. (My next post will be on the differences in the metric system and the “traditional system of weights and measures” used by the U.S.)

The truth is a little more embarrassing. I’ve been lazy. Yes, it’s true. I’ve been letting my creative muscles atrophy and not used my sense of humor (such as it is) for the betterment of all people regardless of race, gender, creed, national origin or any of the other list of differences people have made to distinguish one group from another. Speaking of differences, I’m a white, middle-aged, American male of Northern European ancestry. If I were an ice cream flavor I’d be vanilla. I like to think I’m vanilla with a dash of mocha mixed in thanks to my father’s mysterious swarthy complexion.

Now that I’ve admitted to my failings, I’m going to make a new commitment. I will post at least one new blog every week since so many of you have signed up to hear about my odd views on everything from politics to polar bears. The polar bear post will be after the metric one. And, no, I have no idea what I will write about polar bears. As to politics, I’ll toss in a jab here and there just to offend democrats, republicans, the ultra-right and the hyper-liberal left. Yeah, I’m an equal opportunity political offender. What can I say? I’m Gen-X. If I get more ideas, I’ll try for more than one blog a week; but I know me and how lazy I can get so no guarantees.

It’s good to be back and I look forward to making you laugh, sigh, and ask, “What the hell is Doug talking about?” Now if you will excuse me, I need to go do some research for the next blog. I can never remember how many feet are in a mile and have no clue how big a hectare is.