Odd Couples

Walter Mathau and Jack Lemon. Tony Randall and Jack Klugman. Roger Rabbit and Jessica Rabbit. Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton. There have been all kinds of odd couples throughout history. The fictional odd couples have made me laugh many times. The real life couples make me go “hmmm,” “Okaaaay,” “What the…?” and sometimes even “How much did he pay her?! ” (That last one comes to mind every time I think of Angelina and Billy Bob.)

There are certain people that should never be together. The movie and TV show “The Odd Couple” have shown what happens when two men – who should never be together – end up stuck in the same apartment. The Oscar and Felix situations were fabulously funny but cannot compare to the crazy couples in real life. You know the ones I’m talking about. It is time to try to understand the odd ways of love and then once we are all done we can sit back together and, with a satisfaction of knowing we have analyzed it in painstaking detail, admit that we have no clue what’s going on there.

Let’s face it. The odd couple in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? – Roger and Jessica – makes more sense than Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton. There are some things that are just wrong. Let’s forget about the tattoos and vials of blood around their necks. The age difference doesn’t matter at all. But the basic thing is – and here I do admit to being a bit biased – have you looked at them? Angelina, personality quirks and moderate level of insanity aside, has her picture in the dictionary beside the word “hot.” The same book has Billy Bob’s photo next to “dork,” “ugly,” and “un-Angelina-ish.” Love really makes no sense.

Courtney Cox and David Arquette are another example. Remembering back when they got married my only thought was, “WHY?!!” You will not be surprised to find out that a very wise and insightful interviewer (whose name I can’t remember if I ever even knew) asked that very same question the same way I would have asked it. Her reply was simple and honest. “He makes me laugh.” I thought to myself, “He’d better. That’s all he has going for him.” They were a very odd couple. The odder thing was the rumors about him cheating on her being the reason for the divorce. Two questions: What was he thinking? And who was the other woman? She must have been something to beat out Courtney.

Sticking with the friends motif, Vince Vaughn dated Jennifer Aniston! That makes me think that sense of humor must have something to do with it. Granted I am a guy and am not a great judge of what looks good in other guys. If they are really handsome I can tell. But Vince? Am I missing something there? Jennifer Aniston is a babe and Vince is … ummm … not. The whole sense of humor thing may play a part but, to be fair, he’s not really that funny.

And then I met the woman who would become my wife. She is tall, beautiful, smart, sexy and waaaay out of my league. I don’t look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but I’m also not a male model. Whereas, she makes Esmeralda look frumpy. Yeah, I just made a cartoon reference. Like you’re surprised I’m a nerd? A nerd with a hot wife! I know how Leonard felt on The Big Bang Theory. Penny was hot and he was… smart. Maybe Irene Adler from Sherlock was right. Maybe smart is the new sexy.

I think we must all agree that love is deaf, dumb, and blind with no sense of smell, taste, touch or anything else that can measured. And I’m grateful!